


Forgetting You In A Cabaret

by ipanicdaily



Category: Panic At The Disco
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M, Sexual Content, video fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-14
Updated: 2012-04-14
Packaged: 2017-11-03 15:08:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/382768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ipanicdaily/pseuds/ipanicdaily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>“Fine,” Brendon said, crumpling the card in his hand and throwing it into the trash before storming back into the bedroom to grab his cellphone from the nightstand. “If it’s a whore he wants,” he flipped open his phone and searched for a friend’s phone number, “it’s a whore he’ll get.” </i> -- based on Panic! at the Disco's video for 'But It's Better If You Do'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgetting You In A Cabaret

Brendon sat on the corner of the double bed in the bedroom of the small apartment, one leg folded beneath him and the other dangling over the edge with his toes just barely touching the plush carpet. He picked absent mindedly at the frayed blanket beneath him, lips curved downward in a frown and brown eyes lacking their normal shine. “You don’t love me anymore,” he said as Ryan walked out of the bathroom and to the mirror on the dresser across from where he sat.

“Will you stop with that already?” Ryan asked with an annoyed sigh, standing before the mirror and adjusting the scarf he wore around his neck so that it was tight but not quite enough to cut off his supply of air. “You’re just being paranoid.”

“Well what am I supposed to think?” Brendon stressed, looking up with pleading eyes, staring at his boyfriend through his reflection in the glass where the light on the ceiling reflected with a yellow glint. “Every night you’re always going out with your friends.” he pouted even more, pulling strands of the blanket which Ryan had given him as a birthday present some odd years ago, the design being that of the magic carpet from _Aladdin_ , Brendon’s favorite movie, and dropping them into a small pile. “You’re probably going to illegal strip clubs,” Brendon mumbled as he cast his eyes back down. 

“I’ve told you before, Bren, I’m not going to any illegal clubs.” Ryan rolled his eyes, grabbing the brush to comb it through his hair so that each soft strand fell down against his face. “I’ve got to go to work to pay for this dumpy apartment for us to live in,” he said, glancing back at Brendon through the mirror even if Brendon wasn’t looking at him. Brendon lightly scoffed, he knew Ryan didn’t work at night, and continued picking apart the blanket to Ryan’s annoyance. Ryan set the brush back down and walked towards the bed, stopping in front of his boyfriend and cupping Brendon’s chin in his hand, lifting the younger mans face up to make eye contact again. “Now stop complaining because I have to go.” He bent down and pressed his lips to Brendon’s for a quick kiss, Brendon missed the passion that used to be behind the gesture, then released Brendon and turned to leave.

Brendon grabbed Ryan’s wrist to stop him, giving his best pleading look to Ryan as the man turned back towards him. “Please don’t go?” he asked, bottom lip sticking out, covering half his top lip, eyes as wide as he could get them without looking like he was on crack. Ryan frowned at Brendon, he hated that look with a passion because Brendon had perfected it so well, but he pulled his wrist from Brendon’s grip all the same and went to the door anyway. 

“I have to go,” he said, pulling it back and stepping into the hall. Brendon’s shoulders dropped, a sigh escaping through his nose as his lips were pressed tightly together in a depressed frown as he watched Ryan leave. He listened to Ryan’s light steps travel down the small hallway from their room to the front door, shutting his eyes to listen. “Don’t wait up for me!” Ryan called back to Brendon before loudly pulling the door shut behind him, leaving Brendon all alone in the apartment now.

Brendon scoffed, muttering, “I usually don’t,” before pushing his pile of strands yanked from the blanket to the floor and sliding off the bed to straighten up the room before either cleaning the junk food from their cupboards out in front the of the television and a movie or just sliding into bed for an early night. Ryan hadn’t actually spent a night with him for awhile; leaving not too long after getting home from work to go out with Gabe and whoever else for the night then going to work before the sun even had time to shine. Brendon didn’t know why Ryan suddenly stopped spending time with him, he really couldn’t think of any reason other than he had done something wrong but was clueless as to what. 

It’s not like he stopped loving Ryan, because that was impossible. You just can’t fall out of love. 

He went to the bathroom to make sure Ryan got everything put away when he noticed a little white rectangle laying on the floor beside the little trash can, as though it had escaped it’s fate in the waste receptacle triumphantly. Eyebrows pulling together in curiosity, Brendon walked across the bathroom and bent down, struggling a bit to get the rectangle, Brendon determining it was a business card of some sort, off the ground. It was made of cardstock which held its shape without bending over as Brendon stood back up to examine it. 

As Brendon flipped the card over his finger his jaw dropped a little because he recognized the name the card bore in neat black ink to be that of a gentleman’s club he had heard whispered about by some of his fellow coworkers when they thought no one was looking. He felt a sudden surge of anger wash over him because Ryan was going to strip clubs and had flat out lied about it without having a glimpse of shame or regret in his face. 

Ryan was cheating on him.

“Fine,” Brendon said, crumpling the card in his hand and throwing it into the trash before storming back into the bedroom to grab his cellphone from the nightstand. “If it’s a whore he wants,” he flipped open his phone and searched for a friend’s phone number, “it’s a whore he’ll get.” 

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Once outside in the warm night air, Ryan began to undo the scarf he had so carefully put on moments before in the apartment. A cab was waiting outside for him, as per every night, and Ryan slid into the backseat with familiar ease. He reached into his pocket to extract his brown leather wallet, sliding a crisp new hundred dollar bill and extending his hand forward with the bill pressed between his pointer and middle finger to hand it to the driver. “Evening,” he said in greeting as the driver pocketed the bill, already well aware of his destination, and pulled away from the curb. 

Ryan leaned back against the seat, folding the scarf neatly and tucking it away in the inside pocket of his coat, the material being just thin enough to be able to stay pressed against his body without anyone knowing. It was dark except for the occasional street lamp shining down, causing flashes of light to enter the car which hummed quietly beneath him. He glanced at the little clock by the driver, frowning at the numbers because he was supposed to be meeting Gabriel at the club and he hated being late. 

When the cab slowed down in front of a building lit only by a small lamp above stone steps extending down beneath the street, Ryan slipped his hand around the handle of the car and pulled it until there was a small clicking noise; placing his other hand on the chilled glass window and lightly pushing the door open. He released the handle and placed one foot onto the sidewalk the car stopped beside, shifting his hands to the doors edge and using it to pull himself from the seat, sliding his body out and placing the other leather-shoed foot beside the first. “Midnight,” Ryan said to the driver before standing straight and pushing the door shut, straightening his shirt as the car moved silently down the vacant street. 

Ryan walked quietly to the stairs, placing his hand on the rusted railing paralleling the steps as he started down towards the wooden door at the bottom; the light over head just barely strong enough to cast away the heavy shadows at the bottom. When he reached the bottom, Ryan curled his fingers into a ball and knocked three times on the wood of the door, glancing around just in case someone was near. A little window was revealed as two eyes hidden by a familiar mask looked out from behind the door to Ryan, disappearing once more as the window was closed and the door pulled back to allow Ryan entrance into the building. 

Not a word was spoken as the door was shut behind Ryan and the man resumed his position by the wall, arms dangling in front of him with one hand clasped over the other and legs parted just enough to hold his balance. Ryan walked along the red carpet lining the hall which only had two lights secured to the walls, heading towards the music drifting from behind two curtains at the other end. Along the way, Ryan grabbed a mask from the metal table in the center of the hall, a mandatory rule of the club, and gave a nod of acknowledgment to the two men sharing a similar stance to the one whom let Ryan in as he reached the curtains. 

The man on the left reached towards the middle of the velvet curtains, pulling it back for Ryan as the man stretched the elastic string of the mask and lifted it up to place it over his face. It was a white mask heavily decorated in a golden swirled design, covering Ryan’s eyes and nose, curving over his face to hide his true identity. Ryan stepped through the opening provided for him, entering the large club heavy with cigarette smoke and music, the curtain dropping again behind him. 

Opposite him was a stage where a live band played for the dancers to move their bodies seductively along to, hoping that they would be chosen by one of the men sitting at the small round tables to be taken to a private booth hidden behind more velvet curtains where they could earn enough money for a months rent. Ryan slipped his hands into his pockets and walked through the clouds of smoke towards the bar where he could see his friend clutching a shot glass in one hand and a dancer in the other. Gabe always came for the same person, shelling out money to the tall, thin man just to keep his company for the duration of his stay. 

“I was starting to think you were actually spending the night with your boyfriend.” Gabe smiled as Ryan approached, tugging the man closer to him. “You remember William,” Gabe said as Ryan slid onto the stool beside his friend and motioned to the bartender for a drink. “Rough day?”

“All Brendon does anymore is whine about my not spending time with him.” Ryan sighed, pulling another fresh bill from his wallet and handing it to the bartender as a glass of strong alcohol was placed on napkin in front of him. “He whines and does that obnoxious pout thing which just irritates you at best.”

“Then leave him.” Gabe spoke against the creamy skin of William’s exposed neck; the man wearing the standard performer’s outfit which consisted of a white button up shirt, a black tie, and black shorts so short they hide beneath the edge of the shirt giving the illusion there was nothing beneath. They too wore masks, the same pattern and fit as the customers, only having a silver swirled design instead of gold. “If he annoys you that much just leave him, Ryan. I mean, you’re here with me every night instead of in bed with him where you could get off for free.” 

“But where’s the fun in that?” Ryan smiled, gingerly picking up the glass and raising it to his lips, letting them pressed against the glass and giving the glass the slightest tip with his wrist to let the liquid sip past them into his mouth. “I can’t leave him and you know that.” He sighed, setting the glass back down on the napkin.

“Right.” Gabe smiled, hands progressively undoing William’s shirt even more beneath the already loosened tie draped around his neck. “You _love_ him.” The word had a hint of disgust to it as it escaped Gabe’s mouth. He set his own glass back on the counter to slide his hand down William’s front to brush his palm against William’s groin, a small moan escaping the mans throat as he put his arms around Gabe’s neck and leaned forward into the touch. “If you love him, why are you here?” Gabe asked, smirking satisfactorily at William’s reaction and kissing him as though it was a reward. Even if William was faking pleasure, it was his job to please the customer and that’s all Gabe cared about.

“There’s a difference between love and lust, Gabriel.” Ryan brought his other arm up and folded it against the counter, staring down into the glass where the low lights overhead reflected. 

“Lust is no stranger to me,” Gabe said lowly as his hand fell slowly along William’s thigh until it dropped away, making William whine softly. “If you loved Brendon, Ryan, you wouldn’t be here with me right now.” William reached down for Gabe’s hand and weaved his fingers with Gabe’s stepping back to tug him gently from his seat. “You’d be at home with him watching some movie together in each other’s arms like some boring married old couple. But you’re not.” Gabe slid from the seat and kept hold of William as he bent over to Ryan to whisper in his ear. “You’re here to satisfy that hunger you wouldn’t have if you loved him.” Ryan twitched from the warmth of Gabe’s breath, Gabe heading towards one of the vacant booths with William as every other night. He didn’t understand what Ryan felt. He loved Brendon, he really did, but he craved for something Brendon never seemed able to give him. 

Ryan was about half way through his second drink when someone sat down beside him on the stool Gabe was presently occupying, not making a single noise yet catching Ryan’s attention all the same. It was a dancer, an employee, the club was full of them, yet for some reason, this particular boy stood out to Ryan. Casually, he lifted his glass to his lips and lightly sipped the alcoholic beverage, glancing at the boy beside him a bit longer than a normal glance should be. Ryan was studying him from the side profile. 

The boy didn’t look that old for starters; maybe twenty, twenty-one. He wasn’t exactly sitting on the stool Ryan noticed, but was more leaning on it; right knee pressing into the padded cushion with his leg folded beneath him, left foot on the ground and elbows on the bar top with his hands folded as he leaned forward. Ryan’s eyes traveled along his curvy body, definitely noticing the deep curve of his lower back and the black shorts tightly hugging the boy’s ass, visible from the bottom of the shirt which was partially pushed up.

Ryan didn’t realize he was staring until the boy looked at him, flashing a smile that not only moved Ryan’s eyes from his ass to his face, but also made Ryan choke a bit and blush embarrassedly. He had never been so drawn to any of the dancers, a rule he made so he wasn’t _completely_ cheating on Brendon, but _fuck_ , this guy was really hot. He hadn’t seen this particular boy before, but it was first night.

The boy continued to look at Ryan with this kind yet slightly smug look as he set his glass down, Ryan ceasing to choke then properly greet the boy with a broken, “Hello.” The only response he got was a small nod, the boy’s choppy black hair falling over his mask, not covering the rich brown eyes that stared at Ryan. Momentarily, Ryan got locked in the large, sparkling orbs, something in his stomach clenching and his chest tightening, but he brushed the feeling away quickly so he didn’t look like a total ass.

Sitting straighter and turning to face the boy a bit more, Ryan broke the ice with, “You new here,” getting another nod from the boy who dropped his right foot to the floor and stood properly. Ryan bit the inside of his lip as the boy moved closer, finding his eyes glued to the luscious light pink lips beneath the curve of the plastic mask hiding the boy’s face. Before he could correct himself though, the boy moved closer, placing his hands on Ryan’s knees and turning him so his back was facing the bar; the boy moving between his legs. 

“I don’t really…” Ryan swallowed hard, putting his hands on the boys but not moving them. “I come here to get away, really,” he muttered, thoughts freezing as the boy’s lips were suddenly on his. The kiss was lightly, only lasting a second or two, but Ryan felt the world stop completely around him. He’s never kissed anyone on the lips other than Brendon since they started dating, it was kind of a rule, Gabe didn’t count, but the moment the stranger’s lips touched his, Ryan felt a surge of sparks run through his body, leaving a poison that Ryan wanted more of as soon as the boy pulled back. All thoughts of the boyfriend he left at home every night escaped him as he sat frozen, barely registering the boy taking his hands and pulling him from the stool.

Abandoning his half filled glass on the square napkin on the bar top, Ryan almost felt like he was floating past everyone as the boy lead him by one hand towards the curtained areas Gabe and William always disappeared to each night. “W-what…” Ryan could barely even speak, something in his chest telling him to stop and go back to his seat; the same something that told Ryan not to leave Brendon alone each night. But he pushed it aside as usual and continued walking. 

Still not saying a word, the boy looked back at Ryan over his shoulder, smiling, and used his free hand to press his pointer finger against the center of his mouth, telling Ryan to be quiet. Ryan’s stomach fluttered as he smiled back; suddenly feeling like his teenage self when he used to sneak behind the bleachers in high school with a willing boy or two during gym class. It was knowing that what he was about to do was wrong that made his heart beat faster with excitement and energy to run through him.

The boy reached one of the curtained areas which was guarded by one of the many bouncers which were also masked, Ryan figuring it was for the dancer’s safety as well as to make sure the customers pay. A small exchange of nods occurred between them, the bouncer uncrossing his hands to reach out and pull the velvet curtain back, the boy pulling Ryan into the small space containing a chair beneath a dim gallery light.

The curtain was dropped as Ryan was pushed towards the chair, falling back onto the seat and watching the boy hungrily as he straddled Ryan’s lap. His heart picked up faster when the boy’s hands slowly moved up his chest, their eyes locked the entire time, the masks making both expressions unreadable. There was a twinkling in the boys eyes though that told Ryan he was very much going to give Ryan the experience of a lifetime, not caring that Ryan was supposedly in a committed relationship. He was in a cabaret, after all. 

When the boy’s hands pushed beneath the jacket Ryan wore, his breath hitched, the eye contact breaking as the boy reached the scarf folded up in Ryan’s pocket and slowly pulled it out. “T-that’s-“ he started but was silenced when the boy put a finger to his lips, sitting down on Ryan’s lap and leaning forward to press their lips together again. Instead of a light, quick kiss, it was deeper this time, Ryan not even noticing the boy use the scarf to tie his hands behind his back as their lips moved together with tiny bites and a bit of tongue. 

But when they boy broke away, smiling proudly, Ryan discovered he couldn’t much move his hands, the scarf wrapped around each of his wrists and woven through the bars. Ryan frowned, opening his mouth as though to protest, but was silenced again with a finger against his lips and a slow shake of the boys head. He suppressed a whimpering noise when the boy rolled his hips forward and dragged his finger down Ryan’s mouth, pulling his bottom lip back temporarily to expose his gums. 

Once his finger was off, the boy tucked his thumbs over the edges of Ryan’s jacket and folded it back over his shoulders, pushing it as far down as he could; his lips finding their way to Ryan’s jaw, making a light trail of kisses that made Ryan close his eyes and bite his cheek. His mind told him to stop, to tell the boy to get off so he could go home and he could be with his boyfriend instead, but then Ryan thought about how he was already getting hard and how Brendon always seemed to turn him away when he wanted sex lately. They used to have sex once a day, but then Ryan told Brendon he loved him, and the younger male started to try and make their relationship overly sappy, wanting them to spend _all_ their free time together, and it started driving Ryan insane.

That’s when he started going out with Gabe constantly.

Rolling his hips back and forth in an antagonizing, painfully slow pace, Ryan’s head fell back, exposing his neck to the boy to kiss and even suck on, probably leaving marks, but Ryan was too wrapped up in feelings of pleasure that had only been collecting dust, letting the boy do as he pleased. It wasn’t long before Ryan’s vest and shirt were undone, pushed back like the jacket, leaving his skinny, pale chest uncovered and inviting. 

If his heart wasn’t pumping blood quickly through his veins, he probably would have gotten chills from not having the cloth barrier, because there wasn’t much to Ryan to keep him warm. But the boy was getting him impossibly hard in his pants, a warm, wet, tongue sliding up Ryan’s collar bone and neck, falling back down in light kisses that were driving Ryan absolutely insane. Everything the boy was doing was exactly what Ryan needed to be turned on; but that’s what made people like the boy good at their jobs. 

Ryan didn’t even care when the boy tilted his head back up, running his fingers through Ryan’s hair while their lips met, Ryan hungrily making out with him while the boy’s fingers skillfully undid the ties of the plastic mask around Ryan’s head, slipping the plastic off into his hand. It was against the club rules to be unmasked, but it was only them, behind a curtain, and the odds of the boy knowing Ryan was next to nothing, so Ryan didn’t say anything.

The boy tossed the mask aside, pushing his hands up Ryan’s face and back into his hair, pulling his head back as they vigorously made out now, purposely grinding down on Ryan’s definite hard on with almost painful force. Ryan did whimper into the boy’s mouth, struggling on the restraints, wishing his hands were free to do other things. 

His chest moved up and down roughly, pushing into the boy’s still-clothed body, his hips rising up to meet the boy’s eagerly as he grinded down. Catching the drift, the boy released Ryan’s head and moved back enough to get his hands between their bodies, down to Ryan’s pants without breaking the kiss. Ryan let out a pleased moan when his pants were undone, hey weren’t so constricting anymore, raising his hips to allow the boy to tug his pants down mid-thigh. His boxers were still on though, but it didn’t take long before one of the boy’s hands were in them, starting to stroke Ryan in sync with his rocking. 

Ryan moaned harder, sweat beginning to accumulate on his body, letting the boy’s tongue slip into his mouth with free roam as he drowned in his pleasure. Sure, he had resorted to jerking himself off a few times, but nothing compared to having this boy, this _whore_ , doing it for him, knowing that there were thousands of places he should be instead at the moment. He finally understood why Gabe loved this place so much, even if the circumstances weren’t the same. 

Soon it became too much for Ryan though, and he began making tiny whimpering noises again rather than the moans, wanting to tell the boy he was close, but knowing his voice wouldn’t work if he tried. After a few more strokes, some twists of his wrists, and a thumb brushing over the sensitive head, Ryan was coming hard into his boxers with a long and shaky moan right into the boys mouth; eyes rolling back and head going limp against the boy’s hand which supported it from behind. 

The boy withdrew his hand and wiped the traces of Ryan’s cum onto his boxers, Ryan breaking the kiss at last before he suffocated, the boy standing up from Ryan’s numb lap. He moved Ryan’s sweating bangs aside, leaning forward so his mouth was right next to Ryan’s ear. “Hope it was worth it,” the boy whispered, breath tickling Ryan and instantly making his eyes shoot open. 

He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out as he stared, heart stilled as the boy back up and untied the strings to his mask, removing both it and a black wig, shaking his hair out. “You got exactly what you wanted.” Ryan was confused, shocked, and still speechless as the boy, Brendon, stood before him. “At least now you can come here without having to lie about not being in a relationship because we’re through, Ryan Ross.”

Brendon threw the items at Ryan, Ryan’s stomach wanting to explode as he saw the anger and hurt flash across his boyfriend, ex-boyfriend’s, face, before Brendon turned and headed for the curtain, leaving Ryan half naked on the chair. “By the way,” Brendon turned back to face Ryan, hand on the curtain, “I may have faked,” he pushed the curtain aside, “But I wouldn’t be caught dead in this place.” 

And he left; for good.


End file.
